Attitudinal Change in Participants of Partner Assault Response (PAR) Programs: A Pilot Project

APPENDIX F: Final Version of the Knowledge of Abuse-Supporting Self-Talk Measure

III. Whenever we are in a disagreement with our partners, we have thoughts running through our head. Which of the following thoughts are likely to lead to healthy, non-abusive behavior and which may lead to abusive behavior?

  1. I don't need to prove myself in this situation. I can stay calm
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  2. It is OK if her opinion is different than mine. We will find a way to work out a solution that we are both happy with
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  3. I can't believe that we are having this discussion again - we talked about this yesterday
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  4. I cannot control the way that she acts - she will make that decision for herself
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  5. It is more important to me to listen to her opinion than to get my way
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  6. I am the only person who can make me mad or keep me calm
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  7. Why does it always have to be my fault?
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  8. Why can't she leave this alone?
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  9. I don't have to take this kind of behavior from her
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  10. I should not have to listen to this kind of criticism
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  11. I do not have to win this argument
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  12. It takes two to make this argument worse, and two to make it get better
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
  13. I don't need to defend myself. I can hear her out
    • likely to lead to healthy behaviour
    • depends
    • likely to lead to hurtful/controlling behavior
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